Perfectionism and Student-Athletes

Being a student-athlete is more than putting on a team uniform and pushing your body to new limits. You constantly toggle between the expectations of coaches, parents, fans, and yourself. The game can leave you physically exhausted, but what impact might the extreme demands of sports have on your mind? 

After working one-on-one with student-athletes for many years, Kathryn L. Keough, PhD, a psychologist in the Anxiety Disorders Center at the Child Mind Institute, finds them to be at risk for various mental health challenges, including perfectionism. 

“If we think about how many different layers of pressure there can be at any point, it can go beyond what someone is able to cope with or manage,” she says.  

In gymnastics, for example, points are deducted based on mistakes. A perfect score exists as a marker for success. “The goal is to be perfect, right? A gymnast may want that perfect score, but nobody gets a perfect score in gymnastics,” says Dr. Keough. “It’s a beautiful example of how perfectionist standards are unrealistic and unattainable.” 

What is perfectionism? 

Perfectionism is defined by the American Psychological Association as “the tendency to demand of others or of oneself an extremely high or even flawless level of performance, in excess of what is required by the situation.” Distinct from the healthy ethos “trying your best,” perfectionism is a mindset where even your best isn’t good enough. Some of the symptoms include overly rigid thoughts and setting hard-to-meet standards.  

What are the signs of perfectionism in student-athletes? 

While student-athletes experience the same general symptoms as others who are navigating perfectionism, Dr. Keough says, there are specific signs to look out for:  

• ​​​Disordered eating: Being hyperfixated on calories, protein intake, and nutrition can become unhealthy.  

• Distorted thoughts: There are different kinds of distorted thoughts — what psychologists call cognitive distortions — including all-or-nothing thinking or black-and-white thinking, which can sound like “I need to show up and play perfectly or my entire season is ruined.” There’s also personalization — “If I make a mistake and the team loses, it’s all my fault” — in which people place blame on themselves or assume responsibility for things they can’t actually control.   

• Excessive exercise: Overtraining happens when someone exercises too often or too intensely without proper rest and recovery. This can cause injury, fatigue, hormonal imbalance, and an overall decline in athletic performance. 

• Unhealthy pre-game rituals: Having a routine before participating in a sports event is common. Believing that your performance depends on completing those tasks is where problems arise. Say you’re a swimmer who must arrive to the pool two hours and 17 minutes before each meet or a basketball player dependent on a specific playlist — tasks like these can get in the way of a healthy mindset. 

Student-athletes who struggle with perfectionism may also experience low self-esteem.  

“If you set unrealistic standards for yourself, what often happens is that you don't meet those standards or rarely do,” Dr. Keough says. “And then at the end, if your takeaway is, ‘I wasn't good enough’ or ‘I don't deserve to be on this team,' or ‘I guess I should give up, right?’ Over time, it erodes confidence, which can then negatively impact sports performance down the road.” 

How can student-athletes build a healthier mindset? 

Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is one way to treat perfectionism, according to Dr. Keough. CBT is a form of therapy that helps challenge unhelpful thought patterns that contribute to perfectionism.  

CBT helps athletes recognize unrealistic expectations and gradually learn to challenge them with healthier, more reasonable standards.  

“ When we gradually work on creating healthy standards and healthy behaviors that are not perfectionistic, athletes are able to see, ‘Oh wait, actually I still had a great game,’” says Dr. Keough, who also recommends the following tools:  

• Mindfulness: A psychological practice that involves focusing on the present moment and letting go of judgments. Mindfulness can help combat perfectionism, which is often rooted in wanting to control the future.  

• Sustainable routines: In place of rigid practices that are too long or difficult to maintain, developing sustainable routines involves embracing flexibility. Consider reducing the number of steps in a routine or changing the order. This will prevent feeling dependent on rituals.      

How can coaches and parents support student-athletes? 

For coaches, Dr. Keough recommends creating a culture where mistakes can be discussed without placing blame or being overly critical of athletes. For example, expecting attendance at every practice and being a good teammate are examples of healthy high standards, but requiring athletes to play while sick or injured is not. Once that culture is built, Dr. Keough suggests keeping an eye out for perfectionist behaviors. 

“Coaches are some of the key point people at schools who know students very well and they can pick up on changes and hopefully get athletes connected with effective mental health support, if needed,” she says.   

Parents can also serve as a lifeline — or even a buffer between athletes and coaches. They should similarly be mindful of unhealthy habits, such as negative self-talk, and changes in eating, sleeping, and practice patterns.  

“If we're all of a sudden seeing that a student is spending all their time on the court and they're not getting enough balance in the other important areas of life, that would be a sign for parents to pay attention,” says Dr. Keough.