You just got invited to your first real party. It’s at the house of a friend of a friend of a friend you didn’t know existed, but there’s an aux and a fog machine, so you’re going. Whether you're buzzing with excitement or feeling a little anxious, you’re not alone. Parties can be fun, but they can also feel like uncharted territory — especially when alcohol or drugs might be around.

This isn’t about telling you not to go. (Let’s be real, saying “don’t go” is usually the fastest way to make someone really want to.) Instead, let’s talk about how to show up smart, stay informed of the possible risks, and actually enjoy yourself. 

Go with a friend  

It’s not just more fun. Think of it like having a co-pilot. You can make decisions together, keep one another in check if things start to get sketchy, and exit uncomfortable conversations as a team. Pro tip: Share your location with each other and a trusted family member back home using apps like Snapchat or Life360. 

You can also support each other if one of you ends up drinking. Your friend can keep track of the number of drinks you’ve had, step in if you’re not feeling well, fetch you water when you’ve had too much, and make sure you get home safely. And vice versa. 

“If your friend seems like they're not able to advocate for themselves, if they're really impaired and having trouble walking or talking, or if you notice that other people may be trying to take advantage of them in some way, try to get them out of the party to someplace where they can be safe,” says Katie Peinovich, LCSW, a licensed clinical social worker at the Child Mind Institute.  

Have a game plan 

Know how you're getting to the party and back home again. Are you taking an Uber? Are you walking with a larger group? Make sure everyone in your crew is on the same page about the plan and how long you plan to stay. You don’t want to be figuring out rides at 1am when everyone’s phone is at 2 percent. You should also make a plan for where to meet up if you and your friends get separated during the party. 

Practice how to say ‘No’  

If someone offers you something you do not want, you don’t have to take it. But just saying ‘no’ can feel awkward, or like you’re drawing unwanted attention to yourself. So, it can help to have a ready ‘no’ response that you actually feel okay using.   

“You don't owe anyone an explanation for why you're making the choices you're making, but it makes it easier to have that response prepared,” says Peinovich. “The issue is to not be thinking of a way to respond when you're in a situation that could be high pressure or uncomfortable.”   

Try: 

• “Sorry, I can’t drink more. I’m driving my friends home tonight.” 

• “I think I’m okay for now, since drinking messes with my meds.” 

• “I already have a drink, thanks.” (Pour yourself a soda or Sprite in a red cup — no one will know.) 

Watch your drink 

Whatever is in your cup, if you leave it to go to the bathroom or the dance floor, just ditch it when you get back. It’s not worth the risk of it being tampered with (or frankly, catching a nasty bug because someone drank from it thinking it was theirs). Pour a new one, and when you are walking around, cover your cup with your hand. This isn’t to freak you out, but it’s best to form the habit early. 

Think about your digital footprint 

Look, we all love a good candid, but when alcohol is involved, it’s important to be mindful. Not everything needs to go on the ’Gram or TikTok. Drunk behavior, even if it feels funny or harmless in the moment, can stick around longer than you'd like. And just because you’re tipsy doesn’t mean you're off the hook for your actions. Consent, respect, and basic decency still apply — no exceptions. 

It’s always okay to leave 

If you’re uncomfortable or the vibe just isn’t right, it’s completely okay to make an early exit. (Just alert your friends.) Trust your gut. You’re not “lame” or “boring” for having boundaries — you’re actually being mature by listening to yourself. 

Set your own pace — and know when to ask for help 

Parties can be a great way to meet people and have fun, but they’re not for everyone, and they’re definitely not everything. Maybe you love big crowds and loud music, or maybe you’d rather hang with a few close friends and a good movie. Both are valid. What matters most is knowing your boundaries and respecting them. 

Moreover, many schools now treat alcohol-related incidents as health concerns rather than disciplinary issues. Look into what your school offers — anonymous hotlines, safe ride programs at night, EMT services, or counseling support. If something goes wrong, or almost does, don’t be afraid to ask for help.  

You can’t control everything about how a party unfolds, but having a good time starts with feeling safe, and it helps to walk in feeling prepared, confident, and true to yourself.