Why Do People Self-Harm?
Writer:
If you think that a friend or loved one is hurting themselves, you might be worried — but also confused. Why are they doing it? And does self-harm mean that they’re thinking about suicide?
Here’s what to know about cutting and other kinds of self-harm, and how it’s different from suicidal behavior.
What is self-harm?
Self-harm is when a person hurts themselves on purpose as a way of dealing with overwhelming feelings.
Cutting with razors or other sharp objects is the most common form of self-harm. People might also hurt themselves by scratching or picking at their skin, burning themselves, or hitting themselves.
Signs that someone might be hurting themselves include:
Lots of cuts or Band-Aids on the same part of their body
Wounds that don’t seem to heal
Scars that don’t have another explanation
Wearing long sleeves or pants even when it’s warm out
Avoiding friends and social activities
Refusing to change clothes in front of other people, like in the locker room at school
Collecting sharp objects, like safety pins or pieces of glass
Why do people self-harm?
There is no one thing that causes self-harm. However, there are a few common reasons that people might hurt themselves:
It helps them calm down. Experiencing a moment of physical pain can interrupt painful thoughts or feelings, so people often hurt themselves when they’re overwhelmed by negative emotions
It causes an intense sensation. If a person is depressed or having a hard time feeling anything, they might self-harm to get rid of that numbness
It gives them a way to communicate what they’re feeling. It can be hard to talk about deep pain, so someone might self-harm to express what they’re going through to other people
It can help them change their circumstances. Self-harm can feel like a way to try to stop a bad situation, like getting bullied at school or fighting with family at home. It can feel like if someone notices the self-harm, they might intervene to change the situation.
Specific upsetting experiences, like a breakup or a fight with friends, are common triggers for self-harm. Being bullied can also be a trigger.
Once someone starts using self-harm as a way to cope, it can be hard for them to stop and find other ways of dealing with their feelings.
How is self-harm related to suicide?
Self-harm, especially cutting on the arms, is often seen as a suicidal behavior. But most people who hurt themselves don’t want to die — they’re trying to find ways to feel better.
However, self-harm is still a sign that someone is going through serious emotional distress. People whose negative feelings are so intense that they turn to self-harm may eventually start considering suicide. Or they might hurt themselves more seriously than they mean to and cause life-threatening injuries.
It’s important to know that people who hurt themselves can recover — they don’t necessarily become suicidal, and they don’t have to keep harming themselves forever. If you’re worried about someone who is hurting themselves, start by talking to an adult you trust, who can help you get the person you’re concerned about the support they need.
